Category: Mind Sciences

Conversational Narcissism: The One Who Speaks, Controls the Conversation

Why Some People Always Try to Dominate A Conversation?

Yesterday I engaged in a compelling argument with one of my friends. She argued that ‘people who speak, controls’. Its like in every group, a social circle, or a workplace have one or two influential people who tend to speak more in a conversation or a group discussion. She believes that whoever is smarter, more experienced, louder, more obsessive — all the different ways power manifests. Somehow, I agree with her, but then I questioned why some people tend to control the conversation and try to prove that they are aces where everyone else is rookie? Is Conversational Narcissism really a thing?

Conversational Narcissism vs Cooperative Conversation

Dr Charles Derber, from The Pursuit of Attention, believes that people who always seek to turn the attention of others to themselves can be coined as Conversational Narcissist. Perhaps you may say after reading this statement that ‘Oh, I am not a dominating person, but I know someone who often dominates.’ However, Dr Derber argues that not always people talk more so they can prove something. Sometimes, that urge of sharing first generates uncontrollable feelings. Ever wonder when we couldn’t wait for someone to stop talking so we could jump in; we pretended to be listening intently, but we were really focusing on what we were about to say once we found an opening. This type of behaviour is opposite to narcissism – it is called Cooperative Conversation. Continue reading “Conversational Narcissism: The One Who Speaks, Controls the Conversation”

Do We Really Know the Meaning of Paying Attention to Something?

Do We Really Know the Meaning of Paying Attention to Something?
By Ahmad Amirali

Recently I watched a movie ‘Sherlock Holmes (2009)’ starring Robert Downey Jr. as Mr Holmes and Jude Law as Dr Watson along with a couple of other Hollywood stars. The plot of the movie spun around a character of Sherlock Holmes who is a fictional consulting detective in London 1880-1914 created by Scottish author and physician Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (GoodReads). Holmes is a master of disguise, reasoned logically to solve mysterious cases through his remarkable sense of observation and analytical skills. However, I am not writing this article to share you with my reflections about the movie; instead, I started wondering what the true art of paying attention to anything is? Or to be precise, do we really know what it means when we say ‘we are paying attention to something’? Continue reading “Do We Really Know the Meaning of Paying Attention to Something?”

Why Self-Affirmation is Important to Support Struggling Adults and Students

Why Self-Affirmation is Important to Support Struggling Adults and Students
By Ahmad Amirali

Yesterday, I had a small conversation with one of my colleagues, discussing her future career goals she is looking out nowadays. As discussion precedes, I observe that she is too insecure and unmotivated for her future goals. She kept criticising her skills, education, things that turned around in her life and the way she is living her life right now. I confess that I’ve been observing her since months that something bothering her, even she looks normal to people, but her daily routine keeps on saying that she might be depressed or something. The similar kind of behaviours can also be found in students as well. Throughout the term, students come and discuss their anxiety and the way they feel when they encounter some sort of failures in their daily lives (Previous article: Why Should We Celebrate Our Failures?). The question is why such thoughts sometimes overcome our all the abilities and our achievements of our lives? Why do we start forgetting all our struggles whenever we encounter any drawback in our lives? Why suddenly we start feeling to end this life due to any failure? Continue reading “Why Self-Affirmation is Important to Support Struggling Adults and Students”

Why Some Students Seem Smarter Than Others?

Why Some Students Seem Smarter Than Others?
By Ahmad Amirali

Finally, the new term started last week, and I welcomed the fresh batch of students. What motivates teachers to achieve their new term’s goals is the curiosity students brought with them in the form questions. However, not all students show curiosity or even show any interest to participate in classroom activities. I believe, every teacher encountered similarly kind of experience as I do every year that some students perform well, engages and achieve good grades in assessments but some perform brilliantly and show remarkable development in learning skills. However, last week one of my students didn’t respond to the puzzle quest for which she replied ‘Sir,  I am not smarter than Ali (another student) who can solve any puzzle’. That was the moment when a question struck my mind that why some students seem so smart and perform well than other students in the classroom? Or it is just a myth that existed only in kids mind as an excuse to any problem they encounter? Continue reading “Why Some Students Seem Smarter Than Others?”

Why Do We Expect from Others to Act Like Us?

Why Do We Expect from Others to Act Like Us?
By Ahmad Amirali

Today, I visited my old high school to attend a parent-teacher meeting with my niece, who is also studying there. I attended and met teachers; they were all fascinated to see me as some of them still remember me as their naughtiest kid. They shared their observations and reviews about my niece’s academic performance, and during that conversation, one teacher told me, ‘She is quite a remarkable student, but, she does not participate actively in some activities. I am now expecting more from her.’ As a teacher, when you heard such observations, you start doing the depth analyses, and therefore, many things come in my mind during this conversation. Different children have different abilities and different level of understanding, multiple intelligences, and the list of such theories goes on in my mind. However, the thing that puzzled me more than anything when she said ‘I expect…’. I heard many parents giving valuable advice to their kids and reminding them how they should fulfil their parent’s expectations. The very first question that exploded in my mind was, why do we even expect from others to act like us or think like us? Continue reading “Why Do We Expect from Others to Act Like Us?”