5 Things Parents Should Not Say to Their Child in Front of Others

5 Things Parents Should Not Say to Their Child in Front of Others
By Ahmad Amirali

Recently, I have met one of the students for one-to-one sessions, where they want to discuss any queries and concerns regarding their academic development. She seems quite well while talking about her classroom performances until when she starts sharing her home tasks. Suddenly she asked ‘Sir, am I looking rude to you? It was an abrupt question; I said ‘No, dear certainly not but what makes you asked this from me? She shared with the lower voice, ‘my grandparents and even my parent always said that I am rude and I don’t care about my other siblings. I felt I am a bad person and I should have started working on it.’ We finished our one-on-one session on a happy note but I kept wondering what would happen to the kid’s mental wellbeing when we scold them or hit them in front of other family members? Read More …

Dealing with Parent-Child Trust and Control Issues

Dealing with Parent-Child Trust and Control Issues
By Ahmad Amirali

These days I am attending a residential ten-day adolescent and youth training program where selected educators around the country meet and gathered in one platform. Yesterday, while discussing youth-related issues with one of the educators over dinner, a topic arose that why youth no longer trust their parents nowadays? After a while, we went for dinner but this brought a series of questions in my mind. Being a secondary educator, parents usually come and share their concerns about their child’s behaviour and ask for suggestions. And I remember that sometimes, parents simply said ‘My child doesn’t trust me’ or ‘I think my boy is having trust issues with me’. Although I discuss in my previous article Why Do Teens Shut Themselves Away from Their Family and Friends? that such short-term behaviour in adolescents is common, and it usually happened when adults unable to keep their promises with their child. However, what if their short-term behaviour would become their life-long habit? What if the reason behind this untrusted behaviour is far more different than simply broken promises? Read More …

Examophobia: The Exam Stress in Teenagers – Reasons | Remedies

Examophobia: The Exam Stress in Teenagers – Reasons | Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week, I was reviewing ‘Parent Reflections’, which I collected from parents during parent’s One-on-Ones, and come across a reflection that caught my attention. According to that parent, her kid’s classroom performance and lesson engagement are quite satisfactory; however, she believes that her kid takes examination and class tests too seriously than anything else in his routine. The term which she used to explain her kid’s stress is ‘Examophobia’, the most common and interesting fear among students since the ‘advent of examinations’. Every year, students and their parents share similar kind of concerns to me about how they plan their time table to manage and prepare for their mid-terms and finals. However, the question which I ask every year and especially after reading this reflection is what triggered in students to developed such exam/test-related stress that sometimes it even becomes a ‘Phobia’ in some teens? Read More …

Coping with Teens: The Demanding Phase of Teenagers

Coping with Teens: The Demanding Phase of Teenagers
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week, a parent approached me after my class and shared one concern about her teen, which is of every parenting concern nowadays, that she is now becoming more and more demanding materialistically. She believes that her daughter, who is one of my students as well, always complains about the way they live in a ‘joint-family’, means she doesn’t have any privacy apart of her bedroom which is also shared with her younger siblings. However, the parent also appreciates that her daughter understands all these issues very well. Still, sometimes she argues too much with other family members and her siblings over small matters. The parent seems so desperate that she almost takes 30 minutes to share every bit of her mind with me. Once she finished, her daughter arrived, and she left without asking for a solution to her concerns. Maybe she only wants to share her worries to lighten up her emotions. However, while listening to her, several questions burst into my mind. First, if her daughter is that much reasonable, then what makes her react in such a rebellious manner at home? As per my observation, she is one of the obedient students of my class, and she hardly shows any sign of stress during the lessons. Is she really a demanding and attention seeker child at home or, maybe, her parent has misinterpreted her? Or perhaps all the assumptions are wrong, and the only issue is the communication gap between the daughter and the parent. Let’s find out. Read More …

Students Worst Enemy – Procrastination

Students Worst Enemy – Procrastination
By Ahmad Amirali

So, the term ended on a high note with lots of fond memories and blissful moments. Every year students’ study hard and try to give their best at every level; from sports to extracurricular activities. It seems quite easy, is it so? Well, in reality, the road to success for students is full of challenges and surprises. Some problems even, if not dealt on time, follow students throughout their lives, making their life more challenging then ever. One such issue that students start having soon as they entered their teenage is – procrastination. The term which has a powerful bond with almost all of us; teachers, parents, adults, students etc. The art of delaying things and unable to complete specific tasks on its deadline is called procrastination. However, the question that puzzles me every year is how a person procrastinate when he/she completely aware about the importance and the completion deadline of a task allotted to him/her by their teacher, parent or boss? Read More …

Teen Voice: Why There Are Negative Voices in My Head?

Teen Voice: Why There Are Negative Voices in My Head?
By Ahmad Amirali

Hira, you’re a dedicated student, but you never take the lead in any activity or project even when you know yourself that you can be a good frontrunner. Sir I know but, there is a voice inside my head that keeps saying to me that – I am a loser… I will mess up things for sure. This was the conversation I had with one of my students last week at parent-teacher meeting. Her parent took her confession as an unserious attitude towards her education. However, it was apparent from her impressions that she was not kidding and instead was asking a solution to her problem. But the thing that puzzles my mind after that conversation was ‘from where she hears these voices? Is it a result of some adverse childhood experiences or something else? Read More …

Why Kids Should Not Be Compared to Their Siblings

Why Kids Should Not Be Compared to Their Siblings
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week, one of my students ask me ‘Sir, I think my mother doesn’t love me’ and she did not complete her sentence. I looked at her and asked, ‘Dear, what makes you think your parents don’t love you? At first, she didn’t reply but then ‘Sir, she always compared me with my younger brother and another cousin who is older than me….. No matter what I do, she always praises them more than me….. ever in her appreciation, I can feel her criticism…. Sometimes I feel that I am not good for anything.’ At that moment, other students entered the room, and the class commenced. She seems quite relaxed after our talk as she takes out whatever puzzling her mind. However, the question that starts puzzling me after that conversation with my students is ‘why parents compare their kids with someone else or even their own siblings? Does this comparison do any good and more harm to their kid’s personality development? Read More …

Why Sense of Achievement Matter Most to Some Teenagers?

Why Sense of Achievement Matter Most to Some Teenagers?
By Ahmad Amirali

When I was a kid, I still remember the way my older sister used to cheer me up whenever I didn’t do well in my exams or class tests and the celebration when I passed the finals with colours. Today, the education environment is much competitive, and students keep struggling to maintain their position in that competition. Therefore, I usually find my students arguing over their grades like ‘Sir, I believe, I deserve an extra marking in this task compared to others, as I prepared the presentation and presented it as well.’ As a teacher, I observe such student behaviour as ‘self-confidence, competitive mindset or high achieving attitude towards learning. However, the question that puzzled me while listening to their concerns over grade is ‘what makes students think so intensely about achievement or accomplishment? How would it impact the way they foresee their future? Read More …

How Does Peer Pressure Affect Teen’s Decision Making?

How Does Peer Pressure Affect Teens Decision Making?
By Ahmad Amirali

Let’s assume that you are a 14 to 17-year-old teen and last week you were out with your friends on a beach or some restaurant to spend some leisure time. While waiting for an order to serve, one of your friends starts a topic that fascinates you. Let’s see a movie or a game. However, that friend starts saying some negative comments about that movie/game and interestingly all others including you agree with your friend. Although inwardly you know that it is a game you happen to enjoy quite a lot but, apparently, not wanting to debate the issue, you go along with the crowd. The social stress which you just experienced is commonly referred to as peer pressure or peer influence. Read More …

When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents

When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week I met a parent who wanted to say something about her kid’s surprising behaviour which she has been noticing for months. She asserted that her kid’s eating routine has changed since past few months and now she is skipping her meals most of the time. This sudden change in her diet also affecting her child’s health as she stops taking active participation in sports as well as her after school evening community (social and religious) services due to tiredness. She believes that the reason can be a fight which they had 3 months ago over something and in exchange she said something offensive about her daughter’s eating habit. Now the desperate mother is worried about her daughter’s wellbeing and routine. While listening, I started wondering that, ‘being overweight might affect any teen’s physical, social and mental development. However, how it’s going to affect any teen’s psychological development when a parent talk to him/her about their weight issues or their eating routine? Does it even matter how and what medium parents are using to ask such concerns from their children? Read More …