Why Kids Should Not Be Compared to Their Siblings

Why Kids Should Not Be Compared to Their Siblings
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week, one of my students ask me ‘Sir, I think my mother doesn’t love me’ and she did not complete her sentence. I looked at her and asked, ‘Dear, what makes you think your parents don’t love you? At first, she didn’t reply but then ‘Sir, she always compared me with my younger brother and another cousin who is older than me….. No matter what I do, she always praises them more than me….. ever in her appreciation, I can feel her criticism…. Sometimes I feel that I am not good for anything.’ At that moment, other students entered the room, and the class commenced. She seems quite relaxed after our talk as she takes out whatever puzzling her mind. However, the question that starts puzzling me after that conversation with my students is ‘why parents compare their kids with someone else or even their own siblings? Does this comparison do any good and more harm to their kid’s personality development? Read More …

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?
By Ahmad Amirali

As a teacher or a parent, we all aware of the different behaviours our teenagers demonstrate on specific occasion and situations. One of the actions which I observe, typically, in my classroom is eye-rolling. Usually, it comes after particular type of ‘personalise’ comments made by their teachers or parents such as, ‘Why you always stick to a particular friendship group, mingle with others as well?’ or ‘you did not do your home task, where were you last weekend? I believe rolling the eye simply means that the door is shut or even there is no door available at all. Maybe because they do not want to engage in this choosing the cloth exercise and in-fact they also find it uncomfortable to share this reason to someone even to their parents. Read More …

Why Is It Necessary for Teens to Set Emotional Boundaries?

Why Is It Necessary for Teens to Set Emotional Boundaries?
By Ahmad Amirali

Being emotional is necessary for kids, especially for their personality grooming (Previous Article: Why Is Being Emotional Necessary for Our Children Better Future?). However, it is also essential for teens to maintain some emotional boundaries as they are entering the practical phase of their lives. Every year one of the parent’s most severe concerns consist of their child’s sensitive behaviour towards their social, religious or academic circle. Parents concerns make perfect sense to me because, being an adult, they themselves finding it difficult setting their own emotional boundaries and therefore they consider being emotional is kind of a weakness which is not true.  Let’s get through it with an example; you living in a big house with your family and a huge barn with a horse stable.  Every morning you wake to witness this remarkable peaceful site where everyone, human and animal, loves each other. However, the whole area where you are living has no fence in it or a ‘boundary’ that mark your territory. What would be the repercussions of not having a fence? Yes, the security of loved ones, kids, wife, parents, animals and the beautiful, peaceful life will be on stake because its ‘open to anyone who wants to come’. Now put your teen’s emotions in place of this remarkable site and repeat the situation and you will find ‘having fences’ will come handy. The solution is ‘having fences’ not to get rid of this peaceful site and to shift somewhere else. So, the question is what is an emotional fence or a boundary and how we can manage to put it in our life? Read More …

Why Do Teens Shut Themselves Away from Their Family and Friends?

Why do Teens Shut Themselves away from their Family and Friends?
By Ahmad Amirali

There are times when students find it difficult to express their stressed-out feelings to anyone. In this case, they simply isolate themselves from their families and friends to sort out available solutions for their problems.  Similar kind of behaviour I witnessed the day before yesterday, in one of my students when she appeared late in my session. She was quite all the time and hardly even participating in any activities. She is one of the active students and therefore her behaviour was quite suspicious to me. When class concluded she simply come to me and handed over her worksheet and the moment she starts bursting in tears, crying out loud. Some students who were there simply have no idea what had just happened or why it was happening. I asked other students to leave the classroom. I didn’t say any word, and after a while, when she realised about her situation, she stops crying. I offered her a glass of water, upon asking she reluctantly shared that her sister’s marriage and her midterm exams are falling on the same week and she did not do well in her previous year’s tests. So, her parents are quite pissed this time. But She also does not want to miss all the shenanigans and memorable events of her sister’s marriage. She is not performing wholeheartedly for her exams as well as not able to enjoy her sister’s wedding. I counsel her, sort out her timetable, and talk to her parents about it. However, I wondered why she decided to shut herself down when she starts encountering the issue in the first place? Is shutting herself down helped her to sort out the solutions? Or sharing her concerns basically makes a difference? Read More …

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali

Have you ever wondered sometimes a teacher plan a fascinating topic for his/her class and despite witnessing the students’ interest in the subject, they simply avoid participating in classroom discussion or even sharing their opinion? Every year I encountered such student behaviour in my classroom, and upon counselling the students, I hear the same excuse; ‘I was silent because I was worried to share my opinion, what if someone rejects or laugh at my point’. Interestingly, this year I found the same issue with a number of students in my classroom. But this time not one or two, but majority share the same concern that they fear of being singled out or accidentally saying something offensive. Let’s explore what makes students fear to speak out their minds in front of their peers? Read More …

Why Suicidal Thoughts Are Appeared to Be Common Among Teens?

Why Suicidal Thoughts Are Appeared to Be Common Among Teens?
By Ahmad Amirali

Almost every year, I observe adolescents who struggled with trauma and anxiety due to social and academic pressures. The most common among all is the suicidal thoughts that are now becoming more common nowadays among teens. Last year alone, two of my previous students attempted suicide; luckily, they both survived. The underlying reasons behind these disturbing behaviours are more or less same, i.e. anxiety, peer or academic pressure etc. Family involvement and social support might help affected teens to recover from their depression, but the road to recovery can be rocky, and therefore, most of the time, adolescents find it hard to recover from their traumatic past. The question is Why the teen’s suicidal rate astonishingly increased since the past decade? Read More …

Is the Late-Night Smartphone Use turning Teenagers into Daytime Zombies?

Is the Late-Night Smartphone Use turning Teenagers into Daytime Zombies?
By Ahmad Amirali

I usually work late at night and my friends, school colleagues and even my students mostly aware of my schedule. As a result of which my ex-students mostly approach me at night even after midnight. Yesterday, a similar kind of thing happened and one of my previous year students texted me, asking my suggestions about his career choice. It was quite late at night, and unintentionally I asked him, ‘don’t you want to sleep it’s quite late?’ He replied with a usual excuse, ‘Sir, I normally sleep that late’. This reminds me of the whole term experience which I had with this kid. His class performance was above average; however, he always looks like a Somnambulist (walking in one’s sleep or under hypnosis) even during the day time in school. As children grow and move to teenage level, they become at the significant stage of their growth and development that they need more sleep than adults. (Previous Article: Sleep and Teenagers: Why Teens Need More Sleep Than Adults). The result of not having enough sleep can be devastating to teen’s mental and physical health – making them a walking ‘Daytime Zombie’. There are many factors that keep teens from getting enough sleep – one of the factors is the use of late-night smartphones. Read More …

Nomophobia: The Rising Trend of Nondrug Addiction Among Students

Nomophobia: The Rising Trend of Nondrug Addiction Among Students
By Ahmad Amirali

Recently, I come across an article on ResearchGate and learn about the term ‘Nomophobia’ that, in my surprise, relates to a well-known issue mostly common among school and college-going students. However, this issue is now on the rise and getting more addicted and severe nowadays. Can you guess the issue? Alright, Let’s have an example, among high school and college students, what is the only thing without which students, nowadays, can’t even imagine to live? Yes, their cellular devices or in Asian context the most common term is ‘Mobile Phone’. The research highlighted that the average adolescent would rather lose a ‘pinky-finger’ than a cell phone. The result of this addiction is a growing percentage text or tweet instead of talking to others. This phenomenon of this weird cell-phone addiction among teens and youth is known as ‘Nomophobia’. It is the irrational fear of being without your cell phone or being unable to use your phone for some reason, such as the absence of a signal or running out of minutes or battery power. Read More …

What Does Student “Engagement” Look Like in The Classroom?

What Does Student “Engagement” Look Like in The Classroom?
By Ahmad Amirali

As the summer break is almost over, I am assuming all the teachers around the world must be getting ready to become part of the new batch of awesomeness which will be going to commences soon. As a teacher, we all know that the most important thing for every teacher, for which he/she work really hard throughout the academic year, is how well their students will be going to engage with their taught lessons? What strategies they will use in their lesson plans to make their students engage and well participated in the classroom? However, today, while reviewing my last year lesson plans, a thought struck my mind that ‘does my students engaged with the lesson which I taught last year to them? What does “engagement with the lesson” really meant and how does it look like in the classroom?

The GER (Glossary of Education Reform) refer to student engagement as ‘the degree of attention, curiosity, interest, optimism and passion’ that students normally showed when they’ve been in the learning state.  According to GER, there are three types of engagements which students normally experienced. Read More …

How Traumatic Childhood Affects Adulthood?

How Traumatic Childhood Affects Adulthood?
By Ahmad Amirali

Today, I met one of my childhood friends after a long time, and we cherished the days when we were part of our gang of friends. It was the moment of rejoicing to me. However, not all childhood memories brought happy feelings or moment of rejoice. For some, reminiscing about childhood brought nothing but tears and traumatic memories to them. Similar kind of childhood experiences was shared to me by one of my students, aged 19, three weeks back when I was conducting educational camps in the central regions of Pakistan. Firstly, it is important to know how childhood abuse impacted the adulthood of the abused one. A child can be abused either physically/sexual abuse or mentally/neglected by parents. When a child been abused or neglected as children, they started to feel wounded, deprived and wronged by those whom they love and trust. If these wounds are not healed on time, they continue affecting the child’s subsequent relations. Read More …