When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents

When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week I met a parent who wanted to say something about her kid’s surprising behaviour which she has been noticing for months. She asserted that her kid’s eating routine has changed since past few months and now she is skipping her meals most of the time. This sudden change in her diet also affecting her child’s health as she stops taking active participation in sports as well as her after school evening community (social and religious) services due to tiredness. She believes that the reason can be a fight which they had 3 months ago over something and in exchange she said something offensive about her daughter’s eating habit. Now the desperate mother is worried about her daughter’s wellbeing and routine. While listening, I started wondering that, ‘being overweight might affect any teen’s physical, social and mental development. However, how it’s going to affect any teen’s psychological development when a parent talk to him/her about their weight issues or their eating routine? Does it even matter how and what medium parents are using to ask such concerns from their children? Read More …

Why Do Students Want to Be Perfect in Everything?

Why Do Students Want to Be Perfect in Everything?
By Ahmad Amirali

“Sir, I meet my subject tutor today and he told me that achieving 95% in mathematics and science I, not a big deal and overall 85% is an average grade for a student like you….my parents appear to have a similar kind of thoughts… I feel so much pressure, what if I lost or unable to achieve these grades….”

This is one of the common concerns or what can I say a ‘trauma’ shared by many students, but differently, since I started my teaching career. Each year, several students graduated and happily embark upon their career journey. Some reach out their goals and successfully achieve whatever they’ve planned for their future. However, some teenagers try to pursue whatever their parents, teachers, friends or relatives think are best for them and in that pursuit all they do is simply sacrifice every dream they ever dream for themselves. The question is why is it necessary for students to achieve greatness in every walk of their lives? Does it come from within or from the adults around them? Read More …

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?
By Ahmad Amirali

As a teacher or a parent, we all aware of the different behaviours our teenagers demonstrate on specific occasion and situations. One of the actions which I observe, typically, in my classroom is eye-rolling. Usually, it comes after particular type of ‘personalise’ comments made by their teachers or parents such as, ‘Why you always stick to a particular friendship group, mingle with others as well?’ or ‘you did not do your home task, where were you last weekend? I believe rolling the eye simply means that the door is shut or even there is no door available at all. Maybe because they do not want to engage in this choosing the cloth exercise and in-fact they also find it uncomfortable to share this reason to someone even to their parents. Read More …

Why Is It Necessary for Teens to Set Emotional Boundaries?

Why Is It Necessary for Teens to Set Emotional Boundaries?
By Ahmad Amirali

Being emotional is necessary for kids, especially for their personality grooming (Previous Article: Why Is Being Emotional Necessary for Our Children Better Future?). However, it is also essential for teens to maintain some emotional boundaries as they are entering the practical phase of their lives. Every year one of the parent’s most severe concerns consist of their child’s sensitive behaviour towards their social, religious or academic circle. Parents concerns make perfect sense to me because, being an adult, they themselves finding it difficult setting their own emotional boundaries and therefore they consider being emotional is kind of a weakness which is not true.  Let’s get through it with an example; you living in a big house with your family and a huge barn with a horse stable.  Every morning you wake to witness this remarkable peaceful site where everyone, human and animal, loves each other. However, the whole area where you are living has no fence in it or a ‘boundary’ that mark your territory. What would be the repercussions of not having a fence? Yes, the security of loved ones, kids, wife, parents, animals and the beautiful, peaceful life will be on stake because its ‘open to anyone who wants to come’. Now put your teen’s emotions in place of this remarkable site and repeat the situation and you will find ‘having fences’ will come handy. The solution is ‘having fences’ not to get rid of this peaceful site and to shift somewhere else. So, the question is what is an emotional fence or a boundary and how we can manage to put it in our life? Read More …

Why Do Teens Shut Themselves Away from Their Family and Friends?

Why do Teens Shut Themselves away from their Family and Friends?
By Ahmad Amirali

There are times when students find it difficult to express their stressed-out feelings to anyone. In this case, they simply isolate themselves from their families and friends to sort out available solutions for their problems.  Similar kind of behaviour I witnessed the day before yesterday, in one of my students when she appeared late in my session. She was quite all the time and hardly even participating in any activities. She is one of the active students and therefore her behaviour was quite suspicious to me. When class concluded she simply come to me and handed over her worksheet and the moment she starts bursting in tears, crying out loud. Some students who were there simply have no idea what had just happened or why it was happening. I asked other students to leave the classroom. I didn’t say any word, and after a while, when she realised about her situation, she stops crying. I offered her a glass of water, upon asking she reluctantly shared that her sister’s marriage and her midterm exams are falling on the same week and she did not do well in her previous year’s tests. So, her parents are quite pissed this time. But She also does not want to miss all the shenanigans and memorable events of her sister’s marriage. She is not performing wholeheartedly for her exams as well as not able to enjoy her sister’s wedding. I counsel her, sort out her timetable, and talk to her parents about it. However, I wondered why she decided to shut herself down when she starts encountering the issue in the first place? Is shutting herself down helped her to sort out the solutions? Or sharing her concerns basically makes a difference? Read More …

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali

Have you ever wondered sometimes a teacher plan a fascinating topic for his/her class and despite witnessing the students’ interest in the subject, they simply avoid participating in classroom discussion or even sharing their opinion? Every year I encountered such student behaviour in my classroom, and upon counselling the students, I hear the same excuse; ‘I was silent because I was worried to share my opinion, what if someone rejects or laugh at my point’. Interestingly, this year I found the same issue with a number of students in my classroom. But this time not one or two, but majority share the same concern that they fear of being singled out or accidentally saying something offensive. Let’s explore what makes students fear to speak out their minds in front of their peers? Read More …

Why Students Try To ‘Negotiate’ Their Assessment Grades?

Why Students Try To ‘Negotiate’ Their Assessment Grades?
By Ahmad Amirali

I still remember when I was in school and get average grades in my class tests. I try to ask the teacher why I got these marks, even the checked paper in front of me was full teacher’s comments. Nowadays the same anxiety now taking a new shape in the form of students complains which they do in a variety of creative ways after they receive their tests grades. Now students not only share their concerns regarding their grades with their teachers and parents but also start appealing over social media like Facebook and WhatsApp. The reasons can be anything from convincing oneself that they did their level best; still, they got these marks, or they try to maintain their social reputation or even some only wat sympathising words that might cheer them up. However, they matter of concern to me are not the channels students used when they are in distress but their behaviour of appealing and complain. Why students even want to negotiate or try to request for their assessment re-grading? Read More …

Why Self-Affirmation is Important to Support Struggling Adults and Students

Why Self-Affirmation is Important to Support Struggling Adults and Students
By Ahmad Amirali

Yesterday, I had a small conversation with one of my colleagues, discussing her future career goals she is looking out nowadays. As discussion precedes, I observe that she is too insecure and unmotivated for her future goals. She kept criticising her skills, education, things that turned around in her life and the way she is living her life right now. I confess that I’ve been observing her since months that something bothering her, even she looks normal to people, but her daily routine keeps on saying that she might be depressed or something. The similar kind of behaviours can also be found in students as well. Throughout the term, students come and discuss their anxiety and the way they feel when they encounter some sort of failures in their daily lives (Previous article: Why Should We Celebrate Our Failures?). The question is why such thoughts sometimes overcome our all the abilities and our achievements of our lives? Why do we start forgetting all our struggles whenever we encounter any drawback in our lives? Why suddenly we start feeling to end this life due to any failure? Read More …

Are You Alone in Your Loneliness?

Are You Alone in Your Loneliness?
By Ahmad Amirali

Humans are roaming on this planned for about billions of years along with all the different types of species. Every single being is connected through many facets, ecologically, and one of the aspects is ‘Emotions’. We do have emotions because we feel, just as everything else does – trees, animals, insects everything felt in some way, and that’s how we all connected with each other. However, I am leaving some room here for critics, as some people might not agree with me. Talking about emotions, have you ever found yourselves alone in a room full of people? Have you ever felt invisible in the middle of a conversation with your friends or family members? Have you ever felt lonely even you’re surrounded by your loved ones? You know what, you might not be alone in your loneliness. Read More …

What Is the Scariest Thought Student Might Have During the Whole School Term?

What Is the Scariest Thought Student Might Have During the Whole Term?
By Ahmad Amirali

The summer vacations are over, and students are all setting their new aspirations for the new journey which is about to start or for some already started at the beginning of August. Besides the usual term classes and assessments, some things that motivate students to work hard and perform well such as new classmates, favourite teachers, reasonable classrooms compare to last years (in most cases) etc. similarly there are things that slow down students’ performance engine. In the majority of schools in Pakistan, the term started in August and most probably every school has their midterm examinations in December. The question that almost every student asks in these four months is ‘how much time left for me in this semester to improve my grades?’ Read More …