Why Is It Necessary for Teens to Set Emotional Boundaries?

Why Is It Necessary for Teens to Set Emotional Boundaries?
By Ahmad Amirali

Being emotional is necessary for kids, especially for their personality grooming (Previous Article: Why Is Being Emotional Necessary for Our Children Better Future?). However, it is also essential for teens to maintain some emotional boundaries as they are entering the practical phase of their lives. Every year one of the parent’s most severe concerns consist of their child’s sensitive behaviour towards their social, religious or academic circle. Parents concerns make perfect sense to me because, being an adult, they themselves finding it difficult setting their own emotional boundaries and therefore they consider being emotional is kind of a weakness which is not true.  Let’s get through it with an example; you living in a big house with your family and a huge barn with a horse stable.  Every morning you wake to witness this remarkable peaceful site where everyone, human and animal, loves each other. However, the whole area where you are living has no fence in it or a ‘boundary’ that mark your territory. What would be the repercussions of not having a fence? Yes, the security of loved ones, kids, wife, parents, animals and the beautiful, peaceful life will be on stake because its ‘open to anyone who wants to come’. Now put your teen’s emotions in place of this remarkable site and repeat the situation and you will find ‘having fences’ will come handy. The solution is ‘having fences’ not to get rid of this peaceful site and to shift somewhere else. So, the question is what is an emotional fence or a boundary and how we can manage to put it in our life? Read More …

Why Do Teens Shut Themselves Away from Their Family and Friends?

Why do Teens Shut Themselves away from their Family and Friends?
By Ahmad Amirali

There are times when students find it difficult to express their stressed-out feelings to anyone. In this case, they simply isolate themselves from their families and friends to sort out available solutions for their problems.  Similar kind of behaviour I witnessed the day before yesterday, in one of my students when she appeared late in my session. She was quite all the time and hardly even participating in any activities. She is one of the active students and therefore her behaviour was quite suspicious to me. When class concluded she simply come to me and handed over her worksheet and the moment she starts bursting in tears, crying out loud. Some students who were there simply have no idea what had just happened or why it was happening. I asked other students to leave the classroom. I didn’t say any word, and after a while, when she realised about her situation, she stops crying. I offered her a glass of water, upon asking she reluctantly shared that her sister’s marriage and her midterm exams are falling on the same week and she did not do well in her previous year’s tests. So, her parents are quite pissed this time. But She also does not want to miss all the shenanigans and memorable events of her sister’s marriage. She is not performing wholeheartedly for her exams as well as not able to enjoy her sister’s wedding. I counsel her, sort out her timetable, and talk to her parents about it. However, I wondered why she decided to shut herself down when she starts encountering the issue in the first place? Is shutting herself down helped her to sort out the solutions? Or sharing her concerns basically makes a difference? Read More …

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali

Have you ever wondered sometimes a teacher plan a fascinating topic for his/her class and despite witnessing the students’ interest in the subject, they simply avoid participating in classroom discussion or even sharing their opinion? Every year I encountered such student behaviour in my classroom, and upon counselling the students, I hear the same excuse; ‘I was silent because I was worried to share my opinion, what if someone rejects or laugh at my point’. Interestingly, this year I found the same issue with a number of students in my classroom. But this time not one or two, but majority share the same concern that they fear of being singled out or accidentally saying something offensive. Let’s explore what makes students fear to speak out their minds in front of their peers? Read More …

Why Students Try To ‘Negotiate’ Their Assessment Grades?

Why Students Try To ‘Negotiate’ Their Assessment Grades?
By Ahmad Amirali

I still remember when I was in school and get average grades in my class tests. I try to ask the teacher why I got these marks, even the checked paper in front of me was full teacher’s comments. Nowadays the same anxiety now taking a new shape in the form of students complains which they do in a variety of creative ways after they receive their tests grades. Now students not only share their concerns regarding their grades with their teachers and parents but also start appealing over social media like Facebook and WhatsApp. The reasons can be anything from convincing oneself that they did their level best; still, they got these marks, or they try to maintain their social reputation or even some only wat sympathising words that might cheer them up. However, they matter of concern to me are not the channels students used when they are in distress but their behaviour of appealing and complain. Why students even want to negotiate or try to request for their assessment re-grading? Read More …

Why Self-Affirmation is Important to Support Struggling Adults and Students

Why Self-Affirmation is Important to Support Struggling Adults and Students
By Ahmad Amirali

Yesterday, I had a small conversation with one of my colleagues, discussing her future career goals she is looking out nowadays. As discussion precedes, I observe that she is too insecure and unmotivated for her future goals. She kept criticising her skills, education, things that turned around in her life and the way she is living her life right now. I confess that I’ve been observing her since months that something bothering her, even she looks normal to people, but her daily routine keeps on saying that she might be depressed or something. The similar kind of behaviours can also be found in students as well. Throughout the term, students come and discuss their anxiety and the way they feel when they encounter some sort of failures in their daily lives (Previous article: Why Should We Celebrate Our Failures?). The question is why such thoughts sometimes overcome our all the abilities and our achievements of our lives? Why do we start forgetting all our struggles whenever we encounter any drawback in our lives? Why suddenly we start feeling to end this life due to any failure? Read More …

Are You Alone in Your Loneliness?

Are You Alone in Your Loneliness?
By Ahmad Amirali

Humans are roaming on this planet for about billions of years along with all the different types of species. Every single being is connected through many facets, ecologically, and one of the aspects is ‘Emotions’. We do have emotions because we feel, just as everything else does – trees, animals, insects everything feel in some way, and that’s how we all are connected with each other. However, I am leaving some room here for critics, as some people might not agree with me. Talking about emotions, have you ever found yourselves alone in a room full of people? Have you ever felt invisible in the middle of a conversation with your friends or family members? Have you ever felt lonely even you’re surrounded by your loved ones? You know what, you might not be alone in your loneliness. Read More …

What Is the Scariest Thought Student Might Have During the Whole School Term?

What Is the Scariest Thought Student Might Have During the Whole Term?
By Ahmad Amirali

The summer vacations are over, and students are all setting their new aspirations for the new journey which is about to start or for some already started at the beginning of August. Besides the usual term classes and assessments, some things that motivate students to work hard and perform well such as new classmates, favourite teachers, reasonable classrooms compare to last years (in most cases) etc. similarly there are things that slow down students’ performance engine. In the majority of schools in Pakistan, the term started in August and most probably every school has their midterm examinations in December. The question that almost every student asks in these four months is ‘how much time left for me in this semester to improve my grades?’ Read More …

Could Our Positive Words Negatively Affect Students?

Could Our Positive Words Negatively Affect Students?
By Ahmad Amirali

This morning, while working on my lesson plans, I reviewed an article on Power of Words that mentions the importance of using positive and encouraging language and its impacts on adolescent’s mental and personality development. I still remember, my mum used to say ‘Go on, champ!’ or ‘don’t worry! You’re a smart kid’. Similarly, my teacher used to cheer me and encourage me by using a similar kind of words. Our words play an important role in the cognitive development of our student more than anything else. One line of appreciation, one word of praise during the class, even the word ‘excellent’ meant a lot to a student who finished presenting his/her project. We all know the power of positive and affirming words and I completely agree with the article, but the question that is puzzling my mind since this morning, can positive words have a damaging effect on student development? Read More …

Nomophobia: The Rising Trend of Nondrug Addiction Among Students

Nomophobia: The Rising Trend of Nondrug Addiction Among Students
By Ahmad Amirali

Recently, I come across an article on ResearchGate and learn about the term ‘Nomophobia’ that, in my surprise, relates to a well-known issue mostly common among school and college-going students. However, this issue is now on the rise and getting more addicted and severe nowadays. Can you guess the issue? Alright, Let’s have an example, among high school and college students, what is the only thing without which students, nowadays, can’t even imagine to live? Yes, their cellular devices or in Asian context the most common term is ‘Mobile Phone’. The research highlighted that the average adolescent would rather lose a ‘pinky-finger’ than a cell phone. The result of this addiction is a growing percentage text or tweet instead of talking to others. This phenomenon of this weird cell-phone addiction among teens and youth is known as ‘Nomophobia’. It is the irrational fear of being without your cell phone or being unable to use your phone for some reason, such as the absence of a signal or running out of minutes or battery power. Read More …

The Passive Aggression: Students Act of Purposeful Hidden Revenge

The Passive Aggression: Students Act of Purposeful Hidden Revenge
By Ahmad Amirali

Being a teacher, every year, I encountered numerous students’ behaviour. Some behaviours and its reasons are known to me, but some are way too tricky for a teacher to understand at first instance. We, teachers and parents, all aware that adolescents procrastinate when it comes to finishing any tasks on time. It is because their mind prioritises the tasks as per the level of their boredom (Previous Article: Why Do Children Misbehave? – Reasons and Solutions). There is nothing to worry about it as this behaviour is common among all ages and every kid. However, it can become the matter of concern for most of the teachers and parents when student chronically procrastinates, tempers underperforms, tests the spirit of class rules, and challenges teacher’s authority in the classroom. In my early teaching years, these types of students were the ones who always know how to break every rule of my diary in a subtle way that at times I felt emotional and helpless in front of such kids. If you, as a teacher or a parent, ever dealt with or encounter such students’ behaviours, chances are maybe you’re dealing with a ‘Passive Aggressive’ student. Read More …