Last week, one of my students ask me ‘Sir, I think my mother doesn’t love me’ and she did not complete her sentence. I looked at her and asked, ‘Dear, what makes you think your parents don’t love you? At first, she didn’t reply but then ‘Sir, she always compared me with my younger brother and another cousin who is older than me….. No matter what I do, she always praises them more than me….. ever in her appreciation, I can feel her criticism…. Sometimes I feel that I am not good for anything.’ At that moment, other students entered the room, and the class commenced. She seems quite relaxed after our talk as she takes out whatever puzzling her mind. However, the question that starts puzzling me after that conversation with my students is ‘why parents compare their kids with someone else or even their own siblings? Does this comparison do any good and more harm to their kid’s personality development? Continue reading “Why Kids Should Not Be Compared to Their Siblings”
Today, I met one of my childhood friends after a long time, and we cherished our childhood memories. However, not all childhood memories brought happy feelings or a moment of delight. For some, reminiscing childhood brought nothing but tears and traumatic experiences. A similar kind of childhood experience was shared by one of my students, aged 19, three weeks back when I was conducting educational camps in the central regions of Pakistan. Firstly, it is essential to know how childhood abuse impacted the adulthood of the abused one. A child can be manipulated either physically, sexually or mentally neglected by parents or known relative. A child who suffers from abuse or neglect, feel wounded and deprived. If these wounds do not heal on time, they constantly deteriorate the child’s subsequent relationships. Continue reading “How Traumatic Childhood Affects Adulthood?”
I still remember the day when I seriously injured myself while playing with a toy. I was nine at that time and I was crying horrendously in front of my relatives. At that moment my mum kept reminding me that ‘You are a boy; boys don’t cry, be brave and don’t cry.’ We usually say these words to our children to comfort their panicked feelings as they might have encountered such emotions for the first time. we shielded them through our phrases from the emotions like anger, guilt, sadness or even grief, making them realise that these are ‘Bad Emotions’. Why we don’t want our kids to experience certain feelings? Is there anything like ‘Bad Emotions’? As a human, we do have an emotional response to every situation and instance. It means every emotion has a specific meaning or importance in our lives. So why we start believing that being emotional is a sign of weakness and unnecessary for our kid’s personality development? Continue reading “Why Is Being Emotional Necessary for Our Children’s Better Future?”
Recently, three parents complained about their kids being naughty and taking a keen interest in home-related chores. I ask them how they handled the situation when their kids made mistakes? Two out of three parents confess that they use force by scolding their children or using rough language; even one parent stated that she even swears them while scolding them. First of all, it is essential to know that children learn from their mistakes during their adolescence period. Most adults understand this concept. We have failed to teach our children that there is a positive side to getting things wrong.
Nowadays, parents and teachers struggled to make children perfect in every discipline, from high test scores to get into the best university with prestigious scholarships. Amongst all these struggles of becoming the ideal citizen of the society, children’s focus on learning somewhere lost or ignored or maybe misunderstood. An article published in Scientific American Journal highlights that if we drill children repeatedly with the same math or science problem, they will eventually remember the answer. And if they are lucky, they will remember the response on a standardised test. Continue reading “Help Children to See Good Side of Making Mistakes”
For the past 70 years, scientists in the United Kingdom have been studying thousands of children through their lives to find out why some end up happy and healthy while others struggle. It’s the longest-running study of human development in the world, and it’s produced some of the best-studied people on the planet while changing the way we live, learn and parent. Continue reading “The Longest Study on Human Development that Might Change the Way We Live or Think”