Tag: Mind Sciences

Conversational Narcissism: The One Who Speaks, Controls the Conversation

Why Some People Always Try to Dominate A Conversation?

Yesterday I engaged in a compelling argument with one of my friends. She argued that ‘people who speak, controls’. Its like in every group, a social circle, or a workplace have one or two influential people who tend to speak more in a conversation or a group discussion. She believes that whoever is smarter, more experienced, louder, more obsessive — all the different ways power manifests. Somehow, I agree with her, but then I questioned why some people tend to control the conversation and try to prove that they are aces where everyone else is rookie? Is Conversational Narcissism really a thing?

Conversational Narcissism vs Cooperative Conversation

Dr Charles Derber, from The Pursuit of Attention, believes that people who always seek to turn the attention of others to themselves can be coined as Conversational Narcissist. Perhaps you may say after reading this statement that ‘Oh, I am not a dominating person, but I know someone who often dominates.’ However, Dr Derber argues that not always people talk more so they can prove something. Sometimes, that urge of sharing first generates uncontrollable feelings. Ever wonder when we couldn’t wait for someone to stop talking so we could jump in; we pretended to be listening intently, but we were really focusing on what we were about to say once we found an opening. This type of behaviour is opposite to narcissism – it is called Cooperative Conversation. Continue reading “Conversational Narcissism: The One Who Speaks, Controls the Conversation”

Why Do We Expect from Others to Act Like Us?

Why Do We Expect from Others to Act Like Us?
By Ahmad Amirali

Today, I visited my old high school to attend a parent-teacher meeting with my niece, who is also studying there. I attended and met teachers; they were all fascinated to see me as some of them still remember me as their naughtiest kid. They shared their observations and reviews about my niece’s academic performance, and during that conversation, one teacher told me, ‘She is quite a remarkable student, but, she does not participate actively in some activities. I am now expecting more from her.’ As a teacher, when you heard such observations, you start doing the depth analyses, and therefore, many things come in my mind during this conversation. Different children have different abilities and different level of understanding, multiple intelligences, and the list of such theories goes on in my mind. However, the thing that puzzled me more than anything when she said ‘I expect…’. I heard many parents giving valuable advice to their kids and reminding them how they should fulfil their parent’s expectations. The very first question that exploded in my mind was, why do we even expect from others to act like us or think like us? Continue reading “Why Do We Expect from Others to Act Like Us?”

Why Is Being Emotional Necessary for Our Children Better Future?

Why Is Being Emotional Necessary for Our Children Better Future?
By Ahmad Amirali

I still remember the words of my mum when I was nine years old, and I seriously injured myself while playing with a toy. I was crying continuously, and my mother kept reminding me ‘You are a boy, boys don’t cry, be brave and don’t cry.’ These are the words which we normally said to our children to comfort their feelings/emotions which they might have encountered for the very first time. Emotions like anger, guilt, sadness or even grief, shielding them with our courageous phrases, making them realise that these are ‘Bad Emotions’. One might’ve wondered why we don’t want our kids to experience certain emotions? Is there anything like ‘Bad Emotions’? As a human, we do have an emotional response to every situation and instance. It means every emotion has a certain meaning or importance in our lives. So why we start believing that being emotional is the sign of weakness and unnecessary for our kid’s personality development? Continue reading “Why Is Being Emotional Necessary for Our Children Better Future?”

Why Do We Feel Nostalgia? The Longing for The Memorable time or An Unpleasant Memory from the Past

Why Do We Feel Nostalgia? The Longing for The Memorable time or An Unpleasant Memory from the Past
By Ahmad Amirali

Today, after a long time, I visited a bookshop, and there I met an old couple who kept talking about how new technology provides new pathways of reading to our new generation. They kept referring their old times when there were no computers and internet, no iPad or Fire tablets but there was a reader’s club in every school and even in offices etc. Somehow their conversation interests me, and I invited myself in. It was nice to see the transition from the old to a new generation and how we all get connected on a certain topic. They share how they both met in a library, and their common urge of reading made a strong knot between them, which is still tied for fifty years. After a healthy discussion, we all walk outside the shop, and they left with a friendly and cheerful look on their face. The impression was likewise for me as well. However, I went back to the shop, and I start thinking about what makes them complain about the present? Why do they feel so nostalgic about their past? Why did they feel nostalgia? Continue reading “Why Do We Feel Nostalgia? The Longing for The Memorable time or An Unpleasant Memory from the Past”

Why Do We Fear Change? Reasons and Remedies

Why Do We Fear Change? Reasons and Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali

Today, one of my office colleagues asked me about my first year when I started my teaching career. I told her that it was quite remarkable because I was passionate as well as confused about this new journey. She added that I’d changed a lot since then in terms of my thinking and the way I engage with the people. I exclaimed ‘really, you think so?’ and she said yes, I thought it would be tough for you. I laugh, but deep down, I question myself, why it is tough for anyone to adopt change? It is because we love the old part of ourselves or we simply afraid to change? Continue reading “Why Do We Fear Change? Reasons and Remedies”