5 Things Parents Should Not Say to Their Child in Front of Others

5 Things Parents Should Not Say to Their Child in Front of Others
By Ahmad Amirali

Recently, I have met one of the students for one-to-one sessions, where they want to discuss any queries and concerns regarding their academic development. She seems quite well while talking about her classroom performances until when she starts sharing her home tasks. Suddenly she asked ‘Sir, am I looking rude to you? It was an abrupt question; I said ‘No, dear certainly not but what makes you asked this from me? She shared with the lower voice, ‘my grandparents and even my parent always said that I am rude and I don’t care about my other siblings. I felt I am a bad person and I should have started working on it.’ We finished our one-on-one session on a happy note but I kept wondering what would happen to the kid’s mental wellbeing when we scold them or hit them in front of other family members? Read More …

Examophobia: The Exam Stress in Teenagers – Reasons | Remedies

Examophobia: The Exam Stress in Teenagers – Reasons | Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week, I was reviewing ‘Parent Reflections’, which I collected from parents during parent’s One-on-Ones, and come across a reflection that caught my attention. According to that parent, her kid’s classroom performance and lesson engagement are quite satisfactory; however, she believes that her kid takes examination and class tests too seriously than anything else in his routine. The term which she used to explain her kid’s stress is ‘Examophobia’, the most common and interesting fear among students since the ‘advent of examinations’. Every year, students and their parents share similar kind of concerns to me about how they plan their time table to manage and prepare for their mid-terms and finals. However, the question which I ask every year and especially after reading this reflection is what triggered in students to developed such exam/test-related stress that sometimes it even becomes a ‘Phobia’ in some teens? Read More …

Teen Voice: Why There Are Negative Voices in My Head?

Teen Voice: Why There Are Negative Voices in My Head?
By Ahmad Amirali

Hira, you’re a dedicated student, but you never take the lead in any activity or project even when you know yourself that you can be a good frontrunner. Sir I know but, there is a voice inside my head that keeps saying to me that – I am a loser… I will mess up things for sure. This was the conversation I had with one of my students last week at parent-teacher meeting. Her parent took her confession as an unserious attitude towards her education. However, it was apparent from her impressions that she was not kidding and instead was asking a solution to her problem. But the thing that puzzles my mind after that conversation was ‘from where she hears these voices? Is it a result of some adverse childhood experiences or something else? Read More …

How Does Peer Pressure Affect Teen’s Decision Making?

How Does Peer Pressure Affect Teens Decision Making?
By Ahmad Amirali

Let’s assume that you are a 14 to 17-year-old teen and last week you were out with your friends on a beach or some restaurant to spend some leisure time. While waiting for an order to serve, one of your friends starts a topic that fascinates you. Let’s see a movie or a game. However, that friend starts saying some negative comments about that movie/game and interestingly all others including you agree with your friend. Although inwardly you know that it is a game you happen to enjoy quite a lot but, apparently, not wanting to debate the issue, you go along with the crowd. The social stress which you just experienced is commonly referred to as peer pressure or peer influence. Read More …

When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents

When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week I met a parent who wanted to say something about her kid’s surprising behaviour which she has been noticing for months. She asserted that her kid’s eating routine has changed since past few months and now she is skipping her meals most of the time. This sudden change in her diet also affecting her child’s health as she stops taking active participation in sports as well as her after school evening community (social and religious) services due to tiredness. She believes that the reason can be a fight which they had 3 months ago over something and in exchange she said something offensive about her daughter’s eating habit. Now the desperate mother is worried about her daughter’s wellbeing and routine. While listening, I started wondering that, ‘being overweight might affect any teen’s physical, social and mental development. However, how it’s going to affect any teen’s psychological development when a parent talk to him/her about their weight issues or their eating routine? Does it even matter how and what medium parents are using to ask such concerns from their children? Read More …

Why Do Students Want to Be Perfect in Everything?

Why Do Students Want to Be Perfect in Everything?
By Ahmad Amirali

“Sir, I meet my subject tutor today and he told me that achieving 95% in mathematics and science I, not a big deal and overall 85% is an average grade for a student like you….my parents appear to have a similar kind of thoughts… I feel so much pressure, what if I lost or unable to achieve these grades….”

This is one of the common concerns or what can I say a ‘trauma’ shared by many students, but differently, since I started my teaching career. Each year, several students graduated and happily embark upon their career journey. Some reach out their goals and successfully achieve whatever they’ve planned for their future. However, some teenagers try to pursue whatever their parents, teachers, friends or relatives think are best for them and in that pursuit all they do is simply sacrifice every dream they ever dream for themselves. The question is why is it necessary for students to achieve greatness in every walk of their lives? Does it come from within or from the adults around them? Read More …

20 Questions Every Teenager Should Ask Themselves Before Entering into Adulthood

20 Questions Every Teenager Should Ask Themselves Before Entering into Adulthood
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week, one of my students suddenly showed up in my class after two weeks of uninformed leaves. She looks embarrassed and quiet, so I simply leave the matter by asking about how is she and how is everything at her end. After class, she came to me and apologise for her irregularities and inform me that she was not quite well. Upon asking, she confesses that she wants to shift her career in finance and economics, however, her family is not in her favour. I asked her what she wanted to be and she said, she is good at maths so she might do well in finance. While listening to her, I start thinking about an issue every teenager nowadays is bumping into their lives. Nope, it’s not about how to choose a perfect career (even though it’s a matter concern for almost every teen). I was wondering, What does she need to do to identify her greatest potential? But most importantly, when she needs to do that self-assessment? Read More …

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?
By Ahmad Amirali

As a teacher or a parent, we all aware of the different behaviours our teenagers demonstrate on specific occasion and situations. One of the actions which I observe, typically, in my classroom is eye-rolling. Usually, it comes after particular type of ‘personalise’ comments made by their teachers or parents such as, ‘Why you always stick to a particular friendship group, mingle with others as well?’ or ‘you did not do your home task, where were you last weekend? I believe rolling the eye simply means that the door is shut or even there is no door available at all. Maybe because they do not want to engage in this choosing the cloth exercise and in-fact they also find it uncomfortable to share this reason to someone even to their parents. Read More …

Why Do Teens Shut Themselves Away from Their Family and Friends?

Why do Teens Shut Themselves away from their Family and Friends?
By Ahmad Amirali

There are times when students find it difficult to express their stressed-out feelings to anyone. In this case, they simply isolate themselves from their families and friends to sort out available solutions for their problems.  Similar kind of behaviour I witnessed the day before yesterday, in one of my students when she appeared late in my session. She was quite all the time and hardly even participating in any activities. She is one of the active students and therefore her behaviour was quite suspicious to me. When class concluded she simply come to me and handed over her worksheet and the moment she starts bursting in tears, crying out loud. Some students who were there simply have no idea what had just happened or why it was happening. I asked other students to leave the classroom. I didn’t say any word, and after a while, when she realised about her situation, she stops crying. I offered her a glass of water, upon asking she reluctantly shared that her sister’s marriage and her midterm exams are falling on the same week and she did not do well in her previous year’s tests. So, her parents are quite pissed this time. But She also does not want to miss all the shenanigans and memorable events of her sister’s marriage. She is not performing wholeheartedly for her exams as well as not able to enjoy her sister’s wedding. I counsel her, sort out her timetable, and talk to her parents about it. However, I wondered why she decided to shut herself down when she starts encountering the issue in the first place? Is shutting herself down helped her to sort out the solutions? Or sharing her concerns basically makes a difference? Read More …

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies

Why Students Sometimes Fear to Speak Out Their Minds in The Classroom? | Reasons and Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali

Have you ever wondered sometimes a teacher plan a fascinating topic for his/her class and despite witnessing the students’ interest in the subject, they simply avoid participating in classroom discussion or even sharing their opinion? Every year I encountered such student behaviour in my classroom, and upon counselling the students, I hear the same excuse; ‘I was silent because I was worried to share my opinion, what if someone rejects or laugh at my point’. Interestingly, this year I found the same issue with a number of students in my classroom. But this time not one or two, but majority share the same concern that they fear of being singled out or accidentally saying something offensive. Let’s explore what makes students fear to speak out their minds in front of their peers? Read More …