5 Things Parents Should Not Say to Their Child in Front of Others

5 Things Parents Should Not Say to Their Child in Front of Others
By Ahmad Amirali

Recently, I have met one of the students for one-to-one sessions, where they want to discuss any queries and concerns regarding their academic development. She seems quite well while talking about her classroom performances until when she starts sharing her home tasks. Suddenly she asked ‘Sir, am I looking rude to you? It was an abrupt question; I said ‘No, dear certainly not but what makes you asked this from me? She shared with the lower voice, ‘my grandparents and even my parent always said that I am rude and I don’t care about my other siblings. I felt I am a bad person and I should have started working on it.’ We finished our one-on-one session on a happy note but I kept wondering what would happen to the kid’s mental wellbeing when we scold them or hit them in front of other family members? Read More …

Dealing with Parent-Child Trust and Control Issues

Dealing with Parent-Child Trust and Control Issues
By Ahmad Amirali

These days I am attending a residential ten-day adolescent and youth training program where selected educators around the country meet and gathered in one platform. Yesterday, while discussing youth-related issues with one of the educators over dinner, a topic arose that why youth no longer trust their parents nowadays? After a while, we went for dinner but this brought a series of questions in my mind. Being a secondary educator, parents usually come and share their concerns about their child’s behaviour and ask for suggestions. And I remember that sometimes, parents simply said ‘My child doesn’t trust me’ or ‘I think my boy is having trust issues with me’. Although I discuss in my previous article Why Do Teens Shut Themselves Away from Their Family and Friends? that such short-term behaviour in adolescents is common, and it usually happened when adults unable to keep their promises with their child. However, what if their short-term behaviour would become their life-long habit? What if the reason behind this untrusted behaviour is far more different than simply broken promises? Read More …

Teen Voice: Why There Are Negative Voices in My Head?

Teen Voice: Why There Are Negative Voices in My Head?
By Ahmad Amirali

Hira, you’re a dedicated student, but you never take the lead in any activity or project even when you know yourself that you can be a good frontrunner. Sir I know but, there is a voice inside my head that keeps saying to me that – I am a loser… I will mess up things for sure. This was the conversation I had with one of my students last week at parent-teacher meeting. Her parent took her confession as an unserious attitude towards her education. However, it was apparent from her impressions that she was not kidding and instead was asking a solution to her problem. But the thing that puzzles my mind after that conversation was ‘from where she hears these voices? Is it a result of some adverse childhood experiences or something else? Read More …

Why Sense of Achievement Matter Most to Some Teenagers?

Why Sense of Achievement Matter Most to Some Teenagers?
By Ahmad Amirali

When I was a kid, I still remember the way my older sister used to cheer me up whenever I didn’t do well in my exams or class tests and the celebration when I passed the finals with colours. Today, the education environment is much competitive, and students keep struggling to maintain their position in that competition. Therefore, I usually find my students arguing over their grades like ‘Sir, I believe, I deserve an extra marking in this task compared to others, as I prepared the presentation and presented it as well.’ As a teacher, I observe such student behaviour as ‘self-confidence, competitive mindset or high achieving attitude towards learning. However, the question that puzzled me while listening to their concerns over grade is ‘what makes students think so intensely about achievement or accomplishment? How would it impact the way they foresee their future? Read More …

When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents

When Being Over Weight Become the Reason of Anxiety for Teens? | Tips for Parents
By Ahmad Amirali

Last week I met a parent who wanted to say something about her kid’s surprising behaviour which she has been noticing for months. She asserted that her kid’s eating routine has changed since past few months and now she is skipping her meals most of the time. This sudden change in her diet also affecting her child’s health as she stops taking active participation in sports as well as her after school evening community (social and religious) services due to tiredness. She believes that the reason can be a fight which they had 3 months ago over something and in exchange she said something offensive about her daughter’s eating habit. Now the desperate mother is worried about her daughter’s wellbeing and routine. While listening, I started wondering that, ‘being overweight might affect any teen’s physical, social and mental development. However, how it’s going to affect any teen’s psychological development when a parent talk to him/her about their weight issues or their eating routine? Does it even matter how and what medium parents are using to ask such concerns from their children? Read More …

Why Do Students Want to Be Perfect in Everything?

Why Do Students Want to Be Perfect in Everything?
By Ahmad Amirali

“Sir, I meet my subject tutor today and he told me that achieving 95% in mathematics and science I, not a big deal and overall 85% is an average grade for a student like you….my parents appear to have a similar kind of thoughts… I feel so much pressure, what if I lost or unable to achieve these grades….”

This is one of the common concerns or what can I say a ‘trauma’ shared by many students, but differently, since I started my teaching career. Each year, several students graduated and happily embark upon their career journey. Some reach out their goals and successfully achieve whatever they’ve planned for their future. However, some teenagers try to pursue whatever their parents, teachers, friends or relatives think are best for them and in that pursuit all they do is simply sacrifice every dream they ever dream for themselves. The question is why is it necessary for students to achieve greatness in every walk of their lives? Does it come from within or from the adults around them? Read More …

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?

Teens Behaviour: Why Teenage Boys and Girls Roll Their Eyes?
By Ahmad Amirali

As a teacher or a parent, we all aware of the different behaviours our teenagers demonstrate on specific occasion and situations. One of the actions which I observe, typically, in my classroom is eye-rolling. Usually, it comes after particular type of ‘personalise’ comments made by their teachers or parents such as, ‘Why you always stick to a particular friendship group, mingle with others as well?’ or ‘you did not do your home task, where were you last weekend? I believe rolling the eye simply means that the door is shut or even there is no door available at all. Maybe because they do not want to engage in this choosing the cloth exercise and in-fact they also find it uncomfortable to share this reason to someone even to their parents. Read More …

To Protect Children’s Future, Parents Should Stop Protecting Them from Failure

To Protect Children’s Future, Parents Should Stop Protecting Them from Failure
BY Ahmad Amirali

I remember my childhood when my mom always reminded me that failure was not an option in my exams. This philosophy is still running in many homes, but now the competition is now getting much fiercer than before. Now, the race is not against the pass or fail but of achieving higher grades and test scores. Nowadays, students are in more pressure than students twenty years ago. Moreover, this parental desire to see their kids shine leaves little room for children to make their own mistakes and learn from them. The question is, what would be the lifelong threats for a child who is overprotected by his/her parent? Is overcontrolling a hazard to their mental and social growth? Read More …

Why Students’ Social Life is as Important as their Studies

Why Students’ Social Life is as Important as their Studies
By Ahmad Amirali

Have you ever asked any youngster or youth, what was the best part of their school life? What were their responses? Well, if someone asks me, which my students usually do, my response will simple my school friend whom I spent most of my time with. I remember my school days because of my friends. Sometimes, parents complain to me about their child’s social lives that they need to concentrate on their studies instead of wasting time with friends. Even some parents brought good suggestions like why their children need even a friend circle; they have their family; it should be enough for them. On the other hand, some parents worry about how they would help their kids to cope with the challenges, heartbreaks, and the joys of making friends, losing them, and making friends again. Read More …

Why Kids do Opposite of Whatever We Tell Them to Do

Why Kids do Opposite of Whatever We Tell Them to Do
By Ahmad Amirali

Have you ever wondered, why your kid does not obey your command or exactly do the opposite of whatever you tell them to do? Five years ago, when I embark upon this fabulous career, I immediately interacted with such type of opposite temperament kids, and soon I start coining them ‘problem child’. I called their parents, complained about their kid’s behaviour but all they can say was their kid always argued like this at home, too. Psychologist termed this rebellious behaviour as ODD –   oppositional defiant disorder. Read More …