Yesterday I engaged in a compelling argument with one of my friends. She argued that ‘people who speak, controls’. Its like in every group, a social circle, or a workplace have one or two influential people who tend to speak more in a conversation or a group discussion. She believes that whoever is smarter, more experienced, louder, more obsessive — all the different ways power manifests. Somehow, I agree with her, but then I questioned why some people tend to control the conversation and try to prove that they are aces where everyone else is rookie? Is Conversational Narcissism really a thing?
Conversational Narcissism vs Cooperative Conversation
Dr Charles Derber, from The Pursuit of Attention, believes that people who always seek to turn the attention of others to themselves can be coined as Conversational Narcissist. Perhaps you may say after reading this statement that ‘Oh, I am not a dominating person, but I know someone who often dominates.’ However, Dr Derber argues that not always people talk more so they can prove something. Sometimes, that urge of sharing first generates uncontrollable feelings. Ever wonder when we couldn’t wait for someone to stop talking so we could jump in; we pretended to be listening intently, but we were really focusing on what we were about to say once we found an opening. This type of behaviour is opposite to narcissism – it is called Cooperative Conversation. Continue reading “Conversational Narcissism: The One Who Speaks, Controls the Conversation”