Why Do We Fear Change? Reasons and Remedies
By Ahmad Amirali
Today, one of my office colleagues asked me about my first year when I started my teaching career. I told her that it was pretty remarkable because I was passionate and confused about this new journey. She added that I’d changed a lot since then in terms of my thinking and how I engage with people. I exclaimed, ‘really, you think so?’ and she said yes, I thought it would be tough for you. I laugh, but deep down, I question why it is tough for anyone to adopt change? It is because we love the old part of ourselves, or we simply afraid to change?
One of the reasons could be is we fear change because we can’t anticipate the outcome. However, staying the same can be riskier than keeps on changing according to the circumstances. Although we reject uncertainty, we have the skills to change and evolve. Fear is an emotion that gets in the way we lose clarity of our potential. Most of the time, our fear of change is based on stories both real and the ones we say to ourselves. We narrate our lives as if they are out of our control. We feel as we are playing a part someone else wrote for us. It is significant to know that our life is not a book written by others. Create your storyline. Most of the times we cannot control the outcomes but it doesn’t mean we don’t have the potential to lead our lives as we want.
Another possible reason can be the fear of losing something important associated with that change. Our loss aversion can even cause logic to fly out the window. That is why research shows that gamblers at a horse track who are having a losing day are most likely to bet the long shots, at terrible odds, on the last race of the day. They’re faced with the realisation of loss and are willing to bet on a horse with 20:1 odd, a bet they’d never walk in thinking they’d make–all because of our violent aversion to loss.
Gustavo Razzetti believes that we narrate our lives most of the time in our lives as if they are out of our control. We feel as we are playing a part someone else wrote for us. As I said above, your life is not a story written by others. Create your own storyline. Research on building bridges between Buddhism and Western Psychology shows how embracing temporariness responds to the negative cycles of rumination. When we accept that every story in life has an ending, we can relax.
So, if you want to be the director of your own story, the following are some of the steps that might help you overcome that fear of change.
A Book Contain More than One Chapters –Move On – Never Stops
To start a new chapter in your life, you have to finish one first. Sometimes we struggle with the end of a particular phase in our lives because we confuse the chapter with the book. You can write endless stories in your book of life. Leave room for new chapters to move on from past stories.
Celebrate the Imperfection
The first paragraph of any story is the most difficult one. It takes up the courage to cross the line of hesitation. Hemingway said, “The first draft of anything is sh*t.” The Nobel prize winner kept track of his daily progress on a wall. Every story can be perfected. But first, you must write the first draft.
Be Ready for Surprising Turns
Even the best authors suffer from writer’s block. They know they must try something different. The same applies to you. Experiment, change your routine, go for a walk if you feel stuck. Do something outside your comfort zone.
Failure is a stop, not a destination
Not every chapter or episode can have a successful ending, and that’s ok. You can always write a new one. Don’t feel irritated about what didn’t go your way. Use that energy to write the next chapter.
Thirty publishers rejected Stephen King’s novel, Carrie, before it saw the light of the day. Source: Google 😊
Start writing your own book 😊