Why Do We Get Mad at People for No Reason?
By Ahmad Amirali
There are instances in our lives when we get so angry that we sometimes forget every single ethic of our lives. As a result of which we ended up in guilt for our entire lives. Being a teacher, I also experience this behaviour in my students during my sessions. At first, I always blame my lesson plan for being bored or not engaging enough for my students. However, after reading a handful of studies, couple of, or I can more than 10s of, counselling sessions with students and their parents, I concluded that not always teacher’s lesson plan is held responsible for students’ irritating behaviour. The question is, what makes so much turbulence on anyone or with our loved ones that we hurt them so badly because of our attitude?
According to Healthline, Anger comes from a variety of causes and can vary situation wise. Some collective anger causes include:
- personal problems, such as missing a promotion at work or relationship difficulties
- a pain caused by another person, such as cancelling plans
- an event like lousy traffic or getting in a car accident
- memories of a traumatic or enraging event
However, sometimes, anger can be caused by early trauma or events in a person’s life that have shaped their personality. Sometimes, hormonal changes can also irritate, as can certain mental disorders.
Angriness does not always seem what look like loud and ferocious. Sometimes, people who seem calm and pleasant are actually angry; their anger is not that visible in their normal behaviour. Some signs of anger may include:
- anger that affects your relationships and social life
- feeling that you have to hide or hold in your anger
- constant negative thinking and focusing on negative experiences
- constantly feeling impatient, irritated, and hostile
- arguing with others often, and getting angrier in the process
- being physically violent when you’re angry
- threatening violence to people or their property
- an inability to control your anger
- feeling compelled to do or doing violent or impulsive things because you feel angry, such as driving recklessly or destroying things
- staying away from certain situations because you’re anxious or depressed about your angry outbursts
Most of the time, people consider angriness as a mental disorder, which is entirely misleading. In some mental illnesses, for example, borderline mentality disorder, anger can be one of the symptoms. There are many ways through which we can control our anger without hurting anyone. According to Healthline, following are some of the diagnosis which is workable during the anger phase:
Altering the way you think can modify the way you express your anger. When a person senses anger, it’s often easy for them to feel vivid. It’s essential to focus on communicating rational rather than irrational thoughts.
Avoid using the words “always” and “never” in your thoughts and speech. Such terms are inaccurate and can make you feel like your anger is justified, making it worse. These words can also hurt others who may be trying to help you solve your problem.
Real problems can cause anger. While some agitation is justified when something doesn’t go as planned, it’s not the anger to help you fix the problem. The best way to approach a situation that’s making you angry is to not focus on the solution but to figure out how to address the issue.
You can do that by making a plan and checking in with it often so that you can check your progress regularly. Don’t get upset if the way the problem ends up getting resolved isn’t precisely how you planned. Just make your best effort.
When people feel angry, they tend to jump to conclusions, which can be inaccurate. When you have a bitter argument, slow down and think through your responses before lashing out. Remember to listen to the other person in the conversation. Excellent communication can help you resolve problems before your anger escalates.
I hope we all should avoid being angry for no reason with our colleagues, students, teachers, parents and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring. Instead of reacting to certain uneven events that might have nothing to do with the person you are getting angry with, sharing and making a dialogue would make a lot of difference.